Everyone Knows You Shouldn't Rescue Maidens in Alleyways

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Synopsis

If there's one thing I know, it is that you should never help a distressed maiden surrounded by bad guys in an alleyway. We all know the stories. Some beautiful girl calls for help as she's cornered by several big ugly men with evil smirks and displeasing dispositions, ready to do Celeru knows what to her. Then the hero with the annoying boyishly good looks shows up at the very last moment, beats up the bad guys, and saves the day. Next thing you know, the girl is in love with him, and the rest of the tale is her trying to drag him up the steps of an inn to a bedroom with a soft mattress and decorative pillows. Well, let me break it to you. It never ends up like that in the real world.