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Larry Bottem has never played a sport while flying on a plunger. He's never paid a guy to remove a glass pane, met a mullet-wearing man, or helped eat all the food. All Larry knows is a miserable life with teh Dursleys, his horrible aunt and uncle, and their abominable son, Dunderley. Larry's room is a tiny closet in the basement next to the heater, and he hasn't had a birthday party ever.But all that is about to change when a mysterious letter arrives by the post office: a letter with an invitation to a school without learning. There he finds not only idiots, garbage, and magic, and other stuff, and writing lists with too many "and"s and no Oxford commas but a great destiny that's been waiting for somebody else... if Larry can survive the encounter.